"I don't mean to be unjust, Estraven---"
"Yet you are. It is strange. I am the only man in all Gethen that has trusted you entirely, and I am the only man in Gethen that you have refused to trust." (p. 199)I really thought about this. How often does that happen in life? There are people out there that have a hard time trusting others - for whatever reason - and there is always someone that comes across their life who trusts them wholeheartedly. I have to admit that this has happened to me from both sides. When I was on the trusting side I didn't understand why the other person would not let down their guard, nor was I angry that he wouldn't. This is Estraven's view: he doesn't know why Genly doesn't trust him, but he is willing to be patient for as long as necessary in order to gain that trust.
When I was on the side of things where I didn't trust someone, I didn't realize the situation until it was over. In the moment, I thought I trusted that person as much as they trusted me, but looking back on things I realize that while I trusted them more than I trusted others, I was no where near the level they trusted me in return. I'm not sure if it is because I never let myself truly know/understand that person, but I believe that is why Genly does not trust Estraven to the level Estraven trusts him.
"...if he could lower all his standards of shifgrethor, as I realized he had done with me, perhaps I could dispense with the more competitive elements of my masculine self-respect, which he certainly understood as little as I understood shifgrethor..." (p. 219)I saw this section of the text as the first bit of Genly's true understanding of the people of Gethen. Sure he did not understand everything at this moment, however, he was willing to realize that for his entire trip he had been trying to force the new culture he was immersed in, into concepts of his own/old culture. As cliche as it is, 'the first step is admitting that you have problem'. Genly would never have been able to make progress and connect with Estraven (or anyone on Gethen for that matter) unless he realized what he was doing unconsciously for his entire journey.
That concept connects to the part of the story on page 232 where Estraven explains that they are completely alone on the Ice; there is no one else of either of there species. This led to a thought experiment: power and superiority has happened arbitrarily in the world. If one person of each race/ethnicity/religion/etc. was placed out on the Ice (or somewhere equally remote) no one race would be superior. To me, this is quite obvious in everyday life, but taking it down to the bare bones, placing the situation somewhere that there is no culture (at least in the sense we know it), between it hasn't had time to form between people of different groups, allows me to not only view differences as being inconsequential, but to view an entire world where this is the case.
The last part of my "deep thinking" that I am going to highlight here is the concept that the journey is equal to, if not more important than the end. It is sometimes hard for the American culture to wrap their minds around that concept. When I think of it, I view it as a good book. Loving the resolution of a story does not matter if it was torture getting through the first couple hundred pages. Likewise, loving every page turn until the last chapter is quite disappointing. However, there are quite a few books that I remember not liking very much while I read them, but when I went to my class the next day and had a wonderful philosophical/psychological discussion about the text, I gained a new appreciation for what I had previously read. The process of getting through a book is much more amazing than closing it up and putting it back on the shelf!
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